It's Gotta Be The Shoes
by forensicsfan
Summary: Nick and Warrick are trying to help Sara set one of her friends up with Greg. In response to a Snickers challenge.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I certainly don't profit from them. As always, having coffee with George would be nice.

**Spoilers:** Not really. This is in response to a challenge and I'll be the first to say that this is a bit strange, but then, so was the list.  
  
**Note:** Nick once mentioned in an episode that he hates to take his shoes off, so I sort of ran with that.

* * *

I have to say that I hate taking off my shoes when I know I'm not staying long. So it was with mild irritation that I complied with Sara's new 'shoes off' rule since she'd had her carpets cleaned. I mean, I understand that she doesn't want to have everyone and their brother tracking dirt onto her carpet, but I like having my shoes on, they offer me a little security and quite frankly, they also tend to help keep my libido under control, especially when I'm in the presence of a beautiful woman like Sara who is supposed to be just my friend. I mean, the shoes come off and it's like my feet send signals to the rest of my body that make everything else want to come out and party.  
  
But I digress. At least I'm not here with her alone. Her friend Angie is here and so is Warrick. Greg is supposed to be too, but he has yet to show up. I mean part of the reason we all got together was because Sara is convinced that Angie is perfect for Greg and she wants to set them up without them knowing that they are being set up.  
  
Warrick is sitting on Sara's couch thumbing through the latest issue of Scientific American and Angie is in the kitchen with Sara talking about the number of fat grams in guacamole. I sink down on the other side of the couch from Warrick and notice that there is a bowl of fish shaped crackers sitting there. Now, I'm one who could eat just about anytime, so I reach for the bowl.  
  
Warrick doesn't even look up. "Trust me; you do not want to try those."  
  
Too late as I pop one of the crackers in my mouth. "Why?" Warrick doesn't even need to answer as the taste of fish hits my tongue. I spit it out in my hand and look over at him with a grimace on my face. "That is the nastiest tasting cracker I've ever had." I quickly reach for the bowl of chips sitting next to it and grab one to try and get the fish taste out of my mouth. "What the hell is that?" I glance at Warrick. "It tastes like dill pickles."  
  
Warrick is doing his best to bite his tongue. He whispers conspiratorially. "Angie brought them."  
  
I glance over and my eyebrows arch upward as Angie and Sara round the corner into the living room with chips, salsa and guacamole. I look at Sara curiously and she gives me a knowing smirk and shrugs her shoulders. And then I see them. Angie is not only wearing her shoes, which I find irritating since Sara knows how much I hate taking my shoes off, but they are by far the ugliest shoes I've ever seen. To begin with, I think you might have to have a hunting license, but for what I'm not sure, they have more straps that I can count and they are the color of mustard and if that wasn't bad enough, I'd swear she had to kill Big Bird for all the feathers glued to them, but I think the real kicker is the dashboard hula dancer that makes up the heel of each shoe; the grass skirt actually swivels.  
  
Sara glances at me and raises a single eyebrow, I think as much in warning not to say a damn word about the shoes as to question me. "I thought Greg was coming too."  
  
"Maybe he got a flat tire." I shrugged my shoulders.  
  
Sara looked at me with what looked like a hopeful expression. "Uh, can you call him? I don't want to start the movie if he's still coming."  
  
"I'll call him." Warrick chimed in. I could tell now that he'd immersed himself in the magazine for the express purpose of not having to look at Angie's shoes. He reached for his cell phone and punched in Greg's number. Warrick rolled his eyes as Greg finally answered on what seemed to be the fourth or fifth ring. "Sanders, I thought you were coming with us to Sara's." He nodded. "Uh, huh." He glanced at Sara and nodded. "Uh, huh." Then he glanced over at me and I could tell he was having a hard time keeping a straight face. "Ok, man, look, just get over here; we want to start the movie." He chuckled as he hung up.  
  
"So what's the deal?" I queried Warrick.  
  
Warrick chuckled harder as he tried to answer my question.  
  
"What's so funny?" Sara stood in front of him with her eyebrow raised and her arms crossed in front of her body.  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Warrick finally wheezed out through his laughter.  
  
I glanced over at Angie to see why she wasn't engaging in conversation and I noticed that she'd pulled out an eyelash curler and seemed to be trying to fix her make up, which by the way was interesting to say the least. Her eye shadow looked more like the neon green print powder that Grissom used even more sparingly than his red creeper than make up. I quickly turned away and looked at Sara.  
  
She had an amused expression on her face as she was still trying to get Warrick to stop laughing and tell us what Greg had said.  
  
"Ok, here's the deal. Sanders took his car in for service and they didn't have any loaners. The mechanic took pity on him so he let him borrow his extra car. The thing is." Warrick started laughing again. "It's a Pacer."  
  
"You mean that car that looks like a big bubble?" Sara asked, amused at the image forming in her mind.  
  
Warrick nodded. "It's a pink Pacer, with racing stripes."  
  
I could see how that might be funny, but I didn't think it was as funny as Warrick's reaction was indicating. "Is that the whole story?" I wanted to know why Warrick was going to need an inhaler soon.  
  
Warrick shook his head. "It's got red velvet curtains." More laughter. "With little tassels." Warrick had to take a few deep breaths again. "It broke down on the way over here, so he's taking the bus."  
  
Sara wasn't sure what to say, and neither was I. We both looked at Warrick who had tears running down his face because he was laughing so hard. I glanced over at Sara's friend Angie who had been strangely silent during this whole episode. She's sitting there pulling out the contents of her purse looking for who knows what.  
  
She finally breaks her silence as she pulls something out of her purse wrapped in paper that looks like it could send you on a psychedelic trip all by itself. "Hey, Sara, I got this for your birthday, but I keep forgetting to give it to you."  
  
Sara has an expression of trepidation on her face as she reaches for the package. "Thanks, Angie."  
  
I make a mental note to ask Sara where she'd met her, and just how good of friends they are.  
  
I can tell Sara's not sure what to make of the gift as she pulls the paper off to reveal a statue of a pig. She glances up and pastes on a smile and then jumps and places her hand over her heart as the statue lets out the most obnoxious squealing noise.  
  
"I just remember you telling me something about a pig. I thought you'd like it." Angie smiles, completely oblivious to the fact that a decomposing pig is the very reason Sara became a vegetarian.  
  
Thankfully, there is a knock at Sara's door and I certainly hope that it's Greg if he knows what's good for him. I hear a snort from Sara, followed by giggles as she answers the door.  
  
I turn around and see the source of her amusement. "Greg, what did you do to your hair, man?" He's got hair the color of Angie's shoes.  
  
Greg rolled his eyes at me and Sara both. "Didn't Warrick tell you?"  
  
Sara and I both look at Warrick who just dissolves into laughter again.  
  
"Apparently not." He glances over and notices Angie who appears to be pretty much dumbstruck by Greg. "I'm Greg, who are you?"  
  
Angie's mouth opens and closes like a fish.  
  
Sara mercifully intervenes. "Greggo, this is my friend Angie. Angie, this is Greg."  
  
Angie grins at Greg and finally finds her words again. "You are such a hottie."  
  
"You're pretty hot yourself." Greg is pouring on his Sanders charm and it's all I can do to not lose it like Warrick.  
  
As Greg is getting himself better acquainted with Angie, Warrick suddenly stands up. "I forgot that I've got something I need to go take care of."  
  
I know for a fact that he doesn't, but then again, maybe if he leaves I can spend some quality time with Sara. Ok, I really need to get my mind out of the gutter, but what the hell am I supposed to do, get a pet prairie dog and call it good? If I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that I'm as horny as a guy on 'The Bachelorette' when I'm around Sara.  
  
Sara furrows her brow. "Oh, I'm sorry you can't stay. I got a couple episodes of the old TV version of 'Mission Impossible' to watch before the movie."  
  
"As much as I'd love to watch the show that inspired actual spy gadgets at the CIA, I really need to do a few things." Warrick shot me a knowing glance and suddenly I knew that he was leaving for my benefit. As much as I denied I had a thing for Sara, he knew that I was pretty much blowing smoke out my ass.  
  
"Oh, I love listening to Polka music." Greg intoned.  
  
The rest of us stopped talking and our heads whipped around to look at him in disbelief. He was completely oblivious as he continued to talk to Angie, and quite honestly, so was she. The way they were looking at each other, I bet could do the nasty with Sara right on the coffee table and I'm sure that neither one of them would even notice.  
  
"We go listen to my uncle's Polka band once a month. Would you like to come sometime?" Angie was gushing at Greg.  
  
I just glanced over at Sara and Warrick and noticed that they were both shaking their heads. Sara walked Warrick to the door and I started reciting tongue twisters in my head to try and contain my carnal thoughts about Sara. Just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I wasn't really sure, and quite frankly I didn't want to know. I reached into my pocket and popped a breath mint as Sara returned to the couch.  
  
She glanced over at me and smiled. "You got another one?"  
  
I nodded and handed her the roll of lifesavers. "You know I think we could set your apartment on fire and neither one of them would even notice." I gestured towards Greg and Angie who were staring into each other's eyes as they talked.  
  
Something must have pulled them out of their reverie because Angie turned towards Sara and gave her an apologetic smile. "Would you hate me forever if Greg and I left?"  
  
Greg flashed Sara a grin and I could tell from the look on his face that he was going to get lucky tonight.  
  
"Uh, no." Sara looked at them a bit quizzically.  
  
"It's just that Greg was telling me about this liquid latex club and I've always wanted to go there." Angie kept gushing. "I mean you guys could come too."  
  
Sara cringed. "Uh, no, I think Nick and I are just going to stay here and watch the movie." The expression on her face pleaded with me.  
  
I nodded. "Yeah, I've been looking forward to seeing." Suddenly my mind went blank as to what movie we were actually going to watch. I shot Sara a panicked look and she gestured towards the DVD case sitting on the coffee table. "Uh, 'Top Gun'."  
  
Greg looked at me in disbelief. "You've never seen 'Top Gun'?"  
  
"Uh, no." Flat out lie, but suddenly, I really wanted to be alone with Sara.  
  
"C'mon, Greg. You've got to see my car. It's a classic '73 Gremlin." Angie gushed again as she grabbed Greg's hand and pulled him along with her to the door. "See you later, Sara."  
  
Sara didn't even have time to get up and show them to the door before they'd both disappeared. She just turned to me and shot me a smirk. "I know, you're wondering how I know her. Let's just say she was one of my more quirky roommates in college."  
  
"Harvard?" I couldn't imagine someone as 'colorful' as Angie at Harvard.  
  
Sara shook her head. "No, we were roommates when I went to grad school at Berkley."  
  
I raised my eyebrows in understanding and then started laughing. "Those shoes, I thought I was gonna die."  
  
Sara smirked again. "You know, we don't have to watch the movie if you don't want to."  
  
"Uh, you want me to leave?" I looked at her quizzically. She had a look on her face that I'd never seen before. At least I'd never seen it on Sara.  
  
She shook her head. "I know how much you hate to take your shoes off unless you're staying for a while. I just thought maybe you'd like to stay for a while."  
  
"You want me to stay for a while." I studied her. It was all becoming clear to me as I realized exactly what that look in her eye was all about and why Warrick had left so early. He must have told her what he thought I was thinking.  
  
She nodded and scooted closer to me. "Can you think of anything we can do to kill some time?" There was a sultry expression gracing her face.  
  
I let out a deep chuckle. "Maybe."  
  
She raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "Maybe?" She moved even closer and began to toy with the buttons on my shirt. "What kind of answer is that?" She smirked.  
  
I just grinned as I looked at her lips. All I wanted to do at that moment was kiss that smirk right off of her face, but I didn't even get the chance; she beat me to it.  
  
Now, as much as I had visions of me and Sara and that coffee table, the couch performed nicely, and so did the kitchen counter for that matter, but I have to say that my favorite was on her freshly cleaned carpets.  
  
I don't think I'm going to complain about her shoes off rule again.  
  
The End


End file.
